You're right, I've been away too long. So, here's one of my "This and That" pieces which I'm also sending to the Rapids Tribune. Enjoy.

                                    Is It Spring Yet?

            Someone, a poet I think, once wrote, “Oh springtime, such blessed renewal!” It seems to have sprung here in Adams County and lots of us feel the same way.

            Ruthie does, like yesterday when dancing around her newly sprouted tulips. An avid bird lover, she even chirped like one while putting up feeders for her hummers.

            On a roll with this springtime renewal stuff, she found a bunch of other things around here that could use it. With me watching, she walked back and forth over a section of our boardwalk in front. Stopping, she shifted from side to side.

             “See, dear? The wood runners are rotted under these boards. They wiggle and sag when I walk on them and it drives me crazy!”

            I admitted, “Yeah, they’ve done that lately with me too.”

            She gave me that look. “Gilbert, what exactly do you call lately!?”

            Any who’ve read this column know what “Gilbert” instead of “dear” means. I’d soon be sweating and straining to replace the boardwalk. Cleverly-to throw her off balance-I shot back, “Okay, a bit longer (a couple years) but we can still walk on it!”

            You might also know where my protests get me. An hour later I had two eight-foot 4x4 replacement runners in the garage. Soon as all this rain takes a break from renewing everything I’ll put them in.

            Our car had also made her renewal list, she telling me, “Dear, it was used when we bought it eight years ago. Now there’s almost two-hundred thousand miles on it. You’re the astronomer. Isn’t that the same as from here to the Moon?”

            New car prices are scary and I hate having to buy them. Very cautiously I said, “It’s 240,000 give or take.”

            Eyes wide, she gasped, “Nearly a quarter of a million? We need to go car shopping ASAP!”

            She threw in that “million” to make it seem even more, I bet. But there was the upside; a newer car would let me off the hook with repairs. Better yet, there’d be no more of her renewal schemes to duck and hide from, not for awhile, anyway.

            Except nuts, I forgot last week when she was frowning at the walls and trim in the living room. “Dear, when was the last time we re-painted in here, six years ago?”

            It had been longer. Dreading what was coming next, I mumbled the number in a bare whisper so she couldn’t possibly understand or even hear it.  

            “You’re right, it was eight! But by putting a fresh coat in here…” She paused- “…and all the other rooms, we’d renew the whole inside!” She waited for my answer.

            This time I just grunted and shuffled my feet.

            She nodded enthusiastically, “Right again, dear, you’re a genius! A new-looking inside would only make the outside look worn and old! So, we’d also have to .etc.-etc.”

            Meantime, I scratched my head-I said all that? Maybe I should renew my brain!

            By now you’ve had it up to here with my renewal of this and renewing that, and me-too. Let’s end it by saying that Ruthie and I, along with our friends really do have fun seeing my babblings appear here in the Rapids Tribune. So, a reminder; be sure to…renew your subscriptions when due, okay? (Sorry-couldn’t resist). And finally (if it makes up its mind to arrive)-Happy Springtime!